Days of MY Life

INTO THE WOODS

2006-01-21T13:34:00.000-08:00

So I was very excited to get a call Wednesday morning offering me the role of the Baker in INTO THE WOODS, a Footlite Musical production at the Hedback Theatre directed by R. Brian Noffke. We open at the end of April and run thru the middle of May.

Footlite's Production of Into The Woods announces the Cast:
Baker - Scot Greenwell
Baker's Wife - Claire Wilcher
The Witch - Kate Nash
Cinderella - Kristen Cooler
Narrator/Mysterious Man - Roger Schmelzer
Cinderella's Prince - Michael McCormick
Jack - Drew Williamson
Little Red - Elizabeth Trammell
Jack's Mother - Debbie Noffke
Rapunzel's Prince - Michael Moyer
Cinderella's Stepmother - Adrienne Reiswerg
Lucinda - Brenna Campbell
Florinda - Katie Leavell
Cinderella's Father - Tom Robertson
Cinderella's Mother - Lucy Yarbrough
Rapunzel - Nadia Robinson
The Wolf - Jeffrey Reeves
Giant/Granny - Mary Potts
The Steward - Michael Long
Snow White - Aleta Przbylinski
Sleeping Beauty - Amy Cooper

on my mind lately

2006-01-17T03:10:00.000-08:00

Wonderful! BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN got the biggies at the Golden Globes, and rightfully so. Have you seen it? ...I won't gush; there's no need. It's a story that we've all heard before, it may even be predictable. But it was beautifully acted and directed, and the film carried a buzz with it that would help it reach more ...ahem, close-minded people in the middle of the country.

The Colts lost. Sadness. And I've never been to a single football game in my life; I really don't get much of it at all. But I am disappointed all the same, alongside the rest of the city. Ah well. Indy still rocks.

Last night I auditioned for INTO THE WOODS at Footlite Musicals downtown. I've never seen a show there, actually, nor auditioned for one. So I didn't know what to expect--I'd heard, for instance, that you auditioned in front of others, but we didn't. I think I did well. I left feeling very good about it all; you just know it's going well by the amount you're being read, and the roles you're being read for. The Baker really interests me, his journey and the weight of his situation in "No More"; but Jack is such fun too, though. I hope that Jeremy Brimm is cast, and my pal Jenn too. And Ashley and Adrienne, who was absent last night but has assured others that she'll be there tonight.

Huh. Three hundred years ago today, Benjamin Franklin was born.

Phoebe, my baby, will be notified this week of her status as a blood donor. I think she'll be fine to do it, and it will make me feel like we're helping our fellow...man. Then again, I feel a little sick and controlling with it, ya know? I mean, it's not like I've given her a choice. But she seems to enjoy the vet, and they say she doesn't whine. She's my tough girl. Plus she has pounds of excess skin.

In a couple weeks, I'll be thrice an uncle! Sofia (or Sophia--I don't know which yet) Marie will be born in England. --"I'm with you in spirit, Sis-in-law! Plus you have Mom and Dad and your mom and dad over there with you (for a long time after the birth, too), so I'm sure you have a full house. But yay! Congrats!"

Off to read Angela's blog...dramaqueenmother

I've returned (once again) to my people in the dark

2005-12-26T07:13:00.000-08:00

Hello folks.
Well, here I am, after a long absence during which I travelled to Rome and back--and got more of my proverbial shit together.
Yes, dear readers, while I am very sorry that I've kept you waiting for another installment of my life--much like those dastardly producers at shows like LOST--I think it needed to be done. It was a positive overall. Not that I planned it. Actually, I just got lazy again, when it came to journaling.
BUT! I am now in a different financial situation than I've been in in, say, 4 years. Of course, I needed Daddy's help, but I'm here! You see, by the end of this week, I will have paid off the Visa credit account that was closed on me for delinquency. (It may seem odd I'm sharing that little factoid, but I have little shame.) Also, I will have paid my real estate taxes (which might be a little delinquent too). And guess what......... I'll have some money left over. To pay other bills. And maybe even... SAVE! (Did I spell that word correctly? I haven't used it in so long.)

I'm sure you're all anxious to read about Rome. So...
Ah, Rome. I met my parents in Philadelphia, and we flew into Rome early on Saturday morning. Kent and Tamar (my bro and sis-in-law, for those who don't remember) and the girls (Cati and Sarah) arrived shortly afterwards. We all met up at our wonderful apartment my bro had secured for the week: a top-floor, 2-story flat with a balcony that faced the Colliseum, which was merely blocks from us. And so began a week filled with wine, good food, a vigorous travel and sight-seeing schedule, lots of awe, and feelings of gratitude and disbelief.
I saw, in no particular order: the Colliseum, the Vatican (including St. Peter's Basilica, the Sistine Chapel, St. Peter's Square, the Pieta), the ruins of Pompeii, the streets of Naples (complete with vending machines that were stocked with condoms, cigarettes and needles), the Forum, Piazza Navona, Trevi Fountain, and much much more.
I celebrated my 28th birthday there with my folks; my dad also turned 57 that week. I went out the night of my birthday, and the next night too. To a place called the Hangar. The place was very English-speaker friendly, apparently because one of the owners is American. I ran into a couple from England who were just delightful, and a gentleman who (surprise!) had sat across from my parents and me at the airport gate in Philly--and recognized me, AND has family ties in Indy AND Washington, Indiana, which is 15 miles from Loogootee. Small world after all, no?

Let's see...in other news... (I'd finish the Rome stuff, but I'm at work at the bank right now...)

And THIS post sat in my draft folder for another week, so I figure I better just post it, so it doesn't happen again. My readers (oh YOU!) have been chomping at the bit for another update on my (insert fun adjective like "delicious") life. And really, who can blame them?
You'll also find a couple other posts that sat in limbo forever. I'll try not to do that again. (Often.) And one of these days, maybe I'll find some actual focus with this blog.

OOO! Here's some juice though: DAYS has been incredible in the last couple days, with Zach being hit by his sister in her speeding car. You know he's gonna die, his organs will go to the dying baby Claire, and the families will cheer and cry at the same time. Only Kate and Victor will know that Zach's bro Shawn is really Claire's daddy...but that will come out in time. And hail to La Carrie! She's back! Miss Christie Clark--the actress whose cigarette I lit at a Hollywood party as she tossed back her blonde locks and said of my own temporary ones, "I like your hair"--is returning to the role she may as well have orginiated in the 1980s. God, I love DAYS!

the end of URINETOWN

2005-10-24T10:48:00.000-07:00

The following was all I could bring myself to write after URINETOWN ended--over two months ago. It's sat in my draft folder ever since. I figured, what the hell, I'll post this. You'll get it...I was sad. I think there was more, but time's gone by and I have so much to catch up on...

So while I'm still very much feeling the afterglow of a 10-week orgasm (of sorts), I figured I'd write my reflection so that you can get as fresh a reaction as possible. (As if "orgasm" didn't give it away.)

Sigh... where to begin? I felt the feeling of family that every cast feels, of course.

BUFFY Quotables

2005-10-21T12:25:00.000-07:00

Another post that sat in the draft folder forever. This was supposed to be posted back around Halloween.

Happy New Year!

BUFFY's been on my mind a lot lately because I've gone about as long as I ever have without watching an episode, and I'm a little proud of myself. It's even been awhile since I've watched an ANGEL eppy. Anywho, also because Halloween is coming up and the Buffyverse becomes kinda popular on TV for a few days, here are some of my favorite and/or most memorable quotes from the run of BUFFY. I am at work now, so I don't have the scripts or episodes handy to ensure I'm getting it all word-for-word; but if you feel ballsy and just KNOW that you know the exact words, by all means, step right up.

"Get over it. Whatever's causing the Joan Collins 'tude, deal with it. Embrace the pain, spank your inner moppet, whatever. Just get over it." --Cordelia to Buffy, When She Was Bad

"I lost a friend tonight, and I could lose another. The whole world is being sucked into Hell and you want me to feel sorry for you because your girlfriend's a big ho? Well let me take this opportunity to not care." --Buffy to Spike, Becoming Part II

"Cibo Matto can clog dance?" --Willow, When She Was Bad

"Oh Buffy. You really need every square inch of your ass kicked." --Evil Willow, Two to Go

"You're not his type. He's not big on sleaze." --Buffy to Faith re: Riley, This Year's Girl

"That'll put marzipan in your pie plate, Bingo!" --Buffybot to dusted vampire, Bargaining Part I

"God, you really were the juvenile delinquent in your day. You must look back on that and cringe." --Cordelia to Giles, Gingerbread

"Don't you like anything normal? Golf, USA Today...or anything?" --Cordelia to Giles, Gingerbread

"I'm sorry, Buffy. But you toyed with unnatural forces. What kind of a mother would I be if I didn't punish you?" --Joyce, Gingerbread

"What about me, Spike? The Actual Girlfriend?" --Harmony, Crush

"Being a vampire sucks." --Harmony, The Harsh Light of Day

"Is one of us very stoned?" --Spike to spellbound everyone else, Weight of the World

"Someday he'll come along..."

2005-10-19T12:35:00.000-07:00

so yeah, match.com.

I got bored at CCs one day, and I was all, "what the hell." But oh my god, what I wrote for my profile/intro is AWFUL. I was so embarrassed that I de-activated my profile until I could come up with something better, whenever that may be. There are some cuties that the site has said are good matches for me. Now if I can only NOT turn them off before they meet me; I think I come across as a better catch in person.

I've now changed my profile so I sound a little more normal, funny. My headshot's on there, and it's not too bad (thanks, Liesl Victor-Downey!). I don't know what I expect to find, but I figured, most guys that go on these websites are probably like me: we've done the whole sleeping around thing and although that's easy in its own way and dating is daunting, we DO crave real, true companionship--with someone we can carry on a good conversation with.

So I saw this guy on there that I first met when I came to town 4 years ago. Oh my, is he cute! But he wasn't interested then, so I doubt it will happen this time. Some cute southern Latino just winked at me via the site though.

So am I stupid/silly for doing this? I don't think so. I know of at least one internet couple that panned out--and exists no longer--but you had a great time while it lasted, eh Meggiekate?

phases

2005-10-19T09:28:00.000-07:00

The other day I was thinking about this woman that I went to college with, a couple years older than me, named Britt Hudak. Ah, what an alternative chick she was. Jet black hair (usually), an odd, interesting face, a bit of a lisp, but an animal inside. She played (is it) Sooze in SUBURBIA, and the medieval character/12-year-old f---ed-up girl in TOP GIRLS. We were never close, really, but I remember sitting on the porch of Swayze (one of the theatre houses in Evansville) with her, Molly Gormley and Brian Skeggs... that was the first time I (ahem) took a hit. "Those were the days..."
Anyway, I thought about what a big city girl Britt was, how raw and harcore she could be--or at least it seemed that way, and I think it truly was. Of course the memory felt nice, but I remembered I admired her in that moment. I wished I was like her.

But I was outside with Phoebe, watching her run around in the yard I now own. I thought of my house. Settling down in Indianapolis. Was this really what I wanted? Is it what I want now? Am I still letting my unresolved issues with my parents run my life? Issues of control and obligation, guilt and shame, the needs for acceptance and validation.
They're all present, certainly, but I feel I'm on the right track with the decisions I've been making lately. I do want to have a cozy house and dog and yard to come home to at the end of a day, and I don't want to live in a city where there's an obvious competition for space. I hate that life in general isn't easier, and especially for artists like me. But it's the way it is, as much as it sucks, and there are worse things than trying to be zen about working in a bank.

I look around, too, at some of the people in my life--none of whom I want to dis here--and I feel a little more proud. A close friend of mine--very close--has found himself in rehab. The other day we spoke on the phone, and I was proud of myself for being honest with him. I told him that he'd disappointed me with the extent of his drug use, that it went beyond worry since he'd known for a long time how worried I was and apparently he didn't care. I told him that the positive crap he was spewing at me over the phone ("lots of great, incredible things are happening here", "I can't wait to tell you all about it", "I'm probably the best I've every been") was not being purchased by this shopper. Sure, I want him to get better, and I want him to be healthy and I want to believe everything he says. But I don't. He's a counselor himself, so, like I said to him and he agreed, he's said to others most of what his counselors have been saying to him. But he's smart, and he uses it to justify his use; "I'm ok, I don't have a problem because I recognize all the issues at conflict within me right now."

In just over a week, I head off to Rome. I have a lot of hopes for the trip: that I'm able to memorize the powerful Mystery Cafe show I'm doing while on the plane, that I get out and enjoy a gay night or two, that I have fun with my family, and that I get some perspective, some thought on my situation. I'm very pensive right now.

Oh! And I put my profile on Match.com for the hell of it. But that's my next post...

all in the timing

2005-10-14T09:45:00.000-07:00

As it turns out, the actor who'd be performing the one-man show I AM MY OWN WIFE at the Phoenix in November is unable to do it, and yesterday Mr. B Fonseca asked if I was interested/available for it. Of course, God has a dastardly, wicked sense of humor, and I will be in Rome for half the run. Altogether now: d'oh!

I'm happy to hear, though, that I wasn't the first actor approached to step into the show. Why happy? I'm not sure I can explain. It's just overwhelmingly flattering to have been approached...daunting. I'm glad to know he thought of me, but not being the first on the list, it feels a little less like I'm just fooling everyone--something I sense quite often. Not that I'm not talented, but I'm not THAT talented.
Plus the show goes up in less than two weeks. I mean, WHAT? No way I could pull that off. Or maybe. But Rome is a-callin', and as Angela said, "How often you gonna go to Rome on someone else's [Dad's] dollar? We already know Bryan wants to work with you, so it'll happen."

Two weekends of URINETOWN left. (I'll miss it.) New hire/drug testing stuff next week for Bank One (JPMorgan/Chase, actually).

"...'cause you know...banks."

2005-10-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

Well, times do change. I just accepted a position at Bank One, soon to be Chase. I'll start right after returning from Rome, on November 7th. (I'll be 28 by then!) It's a part-time position, but I have a feeling it doesn't HAVE to be PT for very long; my gut is that I could work hours here and there for people and pick up more than 20 a week. I qualify for benefits after 90 days. The woman that interviewed me today was so cool, and though she had an interview scheduled for tomorrow, she must have known she wanted me because I didn't expect a call until tomorrow at least.
So goodbye, Cookie Cutters. Soon anyway.
It sounds like I'll still be able to do some ACT Out stuff, so that makes me happy.

By the way, the title of this entry is from a season 6 eppy of BUFFY--I think it's "Flooded" but it might be "Afterlife"--in which the Buffster's application for a loan has been turned down, despite saving the bank and its employees from certain death by demon. Willow tries to cheer up the angry Buffy, but only annoys her more with her jibber-jabber, which ultimately ends with a hopeless and exasperated, "Banks."

Maybe you had to be there.

sacrifice

2005-10-08T06:57:00.000-07:00

ugh.
UUUUUGGGGHHH! I say.
Not 20 minutes ago, I called the Children's Museum to let them know that...I will NOT be taking the role of the Velveteen Rabbit in THE VELVETEEN RABBIT. That decision was very difficult to make, and just as hard to carry out.

I talked with Sally last night about it, and I certainly trust, appreciate, and agree with her opinion quite a bit. That is that I should do what makes me happy, and is my declining the role in hopes a real job will pan out (and there's a good chance one will, at Bank One) really about the money? Or are the other issues underlying it?
What I say is, Yes and No. It's true, I don't have to have fancy things around me. I've done without cable for quite awhile, and a tempting hot tub greets me every time I walk onto my back deck, but it's broken! My house needs decorating absolutely EVERYWHERE. So what's living like this a little longer? Nothin! BUT... the house IS important to me. It's a large, good investment. I want it to be nicer, but I also want to simply afford it, without contstantly having to go to my father for money.
I don't feel bad that I don't make enough doing what I love to sustain me in this world. Fuck the world. Truly. I think America sucks now and that they're the leader in arrogant, superficial mores and norms. But I think the lifestyle I WANT to lead (cable, working hot tub, nicer interior design in my house, and I don't know, a hundred bucks set aside each month as savings) merely fits in with any other ambition I have.

I hesitated about pursuing Bank One and letting RABBIT go because I don't think I'll be at Bank One for very long in the grand scheme of things, so is it even worth it to take the job? But I think I need to get myself into a position where I'm making a little more money and getting benefits more regularly, because it's money stuff that gets me down so much. Again, I'm sure the issue goes deeper, that it's connected to my parents. And I DO feel I should deal with that, reconcile what's going on inside me, get off my chest whatever it is I feel I need to.

I don't know. You can see I've had a really hard time with this decision, and I'm still having a hard time....

I don't think I'm going to act forever, you know, I don't think that's my place, my calling. I mean maybe, and that's ok if it is. I do enjoy it. But I think I need to do this, focus on Bank One rather than an individual show. More shows will come.

(gulp) Right?

job searchin'

2005-10-05T13:01:00.000-07:00

So last night was auditions for VELVETEEN, and I don't think I did very well, but whatever, not much I can do about it now. So many people I know were there: Alan Shepard, old friend Jen Smith, Jen Henry, Jamison Fisher, Lisa Kaake, Ken Klingenmeier...
I also applied, this morning, for a position that Jen Smith applied and interviewed for but was reopened. It's for the Indianapolis Arts Council, and I think either of us would be great candidates. We'll see what happens there.
I have an interview at Bank One tomorrow. I don't know how I feel about that. It's part time work with benefits, which sounds better than I'm doing here at CCs, but I'd probably get fewer hours there. It's closer to home, which is good.

My ideal situation would be: Act through January, getting shows with ACT Out and Mystery Cafe, hopefully getting cast in VELVETEEN (eh) and A NUMBER at the Phoenix--the latter being a show I really want badly and will do whatever I can to get. Working a second job till then... hopefully having a "Career" type job come February.

I also want to find a new play--or one done infrequently--to direct at the Alley with Michelle Kelley producing. That project happening sometime next year. If anyone has any ideas, let me know.

Now I remember I need to write Chandra about something.
Is anyone even reading this?

And now for October

2005-10-03T12:59:00.000-07:00

Fun and exciting fact: FRAGGLE ROCK (S. 1) is now on DVD. woo-hoo!

So I've been plotting out beats and punctuation, etc., in a script the Phoenix is doing in January called A NUMBER. Bryan's invited me and a few others to audition. Were I to be cast, I'd play three characters: a father's son, and two of the son's clones. Titillated? I was, and AM. Oooo, how challenging and exciting. The role of the father has been cast...wish I knew who...

I also picked up the script I'm doing for Mystery Cafe, only once, so far as I know. The other script will probably come later, maybe November. This one is with my good pal Chandra, and it's "Peggy Sue Got Murdered." I think it was nominated for a Pulitzer when it was written in the mid-nineties... gosh, SO many murder-mystery, dinner plays were!

Not much to report from the land of Scot. Phoebe's good, there's an unexplained foul odor in the house, another girl's been hired here at CCs and the Greenwood store got broken into (AGAIN x 3). Dad's coming into town this coming weekend, so I'm sure he'll have housework for us to do--no matter what my opinion is. UTOWN's going well; our extension's been announced. Read some scripts by Alan Shepard and Matt Graber over the weekend, ones they're producing in a couple months, and I thought they were, for the most part, pretty good. Then last night I saw Alan's Performing Your Life show he directs every now and then, this one on marriage. It was nice, thought-provoking. I hope I can work with those dudes again sometime.

More later in the week.

plans

2005-09-28T09:30:00.000-07:00

so last night was one of the few nights in my adult life that i sat down and sorted through figures. you see, bills ...are daunting to me. i know that i can't pay them, so often they end up pushed to the side as part of a huge, junky-looking pile on my countertops at home. it's how my depression manifests itself, and i'm now pretty cognisent of this. it's my vicious cycle. i open bills with a sick, sick stomach; see that i, in fact, cannot pay them in full, and sometimes, much of it at all; i pay what i can, starve for awhile, and let all subsequent bills sit and sit and sit.

but like i said, last night i sat down and went through some of the mess. most of it actually, so i know that most likely, i'll be taking a couple thousand dollars worth of debt into november--that's without the mortgage that is still due over the course of its life. that's not awful, considering many others have student loans and whatnot. but it's not good either, because i do NOT have that money. i'll have to go to daddy for some of it, probably, which kills me, but... what can ya do? and i think i can keep some of the costs that i've budgeted in for october down some. and who knows, maybe i can get more income than i'm thinking right now.

anywho, no utilities will be turned off, so that's good. i'm not in any clear and present danger of losing my home either.

plans for now... i'm auditioning next week for VELVETEEN RABBIT at the children's museum. i'm also going to an open call at the helen wells agency. i'm hoping to find a better job, and because i don't know when that will come, i'm aware and preparing for big changes to come anytime. my goal is to be in a better job, paying an amount i deserve and am worthy of, by MARCH. so that by next summer, i can look into getting my own car--and paying for it on my own, no daddy involved (although because my credit is shot, i may need him to co-sign on the loan). i also want to have health insurance by then.

oh yeah, and i'm gonna audition for the january production at the phoenix. yay!

these goals are at once simple and daunting.
wish me luck.

precipice

2005-09-27T07:29:00.000-07:00

Well, the resume is pretty much completed. I may send it out to a few people for opinions, maybe not. I know I'd be happier in a job other than CCs, but theatre stuff will have to take a backseat then, and I'm not sure how I'll feel about that. Maybe ok!
My good friend The OC (Original Chris, because he's the first I met here in town) came to see UTOWN the other day, left me a voicemail after, saying he LOVED it. I actually almost cried a little, it meant a lot what he said.

My parents were in town briefly over the weekend, which was fine. They gave me a little bit of spending money--which I spent. I talked to my mom about the inevitable job change coming up, and she was pretty supportive and encouraging of my situation.

I've worked on it in the privacy of my home and now pretty-much know how to sing/belt/hit a high A if need be. That pleases me. There are reasons for this, but perhaps I'll get into them later. It is merely a personal feat.

More later perhaps...I'm at CCs and stewing a little bit, so I figured I'd write SOMEthing on here.

points of no return

2005-09-23T12:23:00.000-07:00

First off, DAYS update (I'll keep this short): Kate showed up at Sami and Lucas's wedding dressed as Stan, and of course the show stretched the confusion into a full hour before Kate was reVEALLED. Lexi discovered Dr. Alex isn't on the up and up, but he blackmailed her, saying if she said anything, he would reveal her affair with Tek. John vowed to figure out what's up with Doc and Dr. Chelsea's still a brat, but I actually enjoy what they're doing with her, and Shawn and Mimi were being all La-La-La about each other. Uf! that pains me.

Anywho! In other news, the Hurricane Katrina benefit was fun and nifty, seeing all sorts of theatre peeps there. My mother is flying in this afternoon, seeing URINETOWN tonight, then she and Dad are doing other Indiana stuff over the weekend.

I am now thinking about substitute teaching. Also, I need to look into job opportunities at the Conrad Hotel that's opening downtown in April.
Good friend Chris Saunders recently doesn't have a home (or a dog, for that matter) anymore, so while I wouldn't mind living with him and I'd welcome having a roommate I know well, I'm not sure it could work. (The room I'm looking to rent is the loft, and well, Chris is really tall...) But we'll see.

Last night, I had yet another bittersweet dream about my ex-friend and collaborator LMB. Bittersweet because it was a good dream, but I know that's all it was. She hates me.
But it feels good to know that my very next thought after having said that is: Whatever.

Harlaxton College, Grantham, England

2005-09-21T13:29:00.000-07:00

Last evening, having dinner with friends Angela and Lisa and James, Angela asked me about my time in Europe, and I told her (only a little) about my semester at Harlaxton in Grantham, England in the spring of 1998. One tidbit: many of lived in and all of us studied in Harlaxton manor, the exterior of which was used quite a bit in the Liam Neeson/Catherine Zeta-Jones film THE HAUNTING. (In fact, my bf at the time was studying there when they filmed.)

Anywho, I've been googling friends from UE lately, and I came across the following link to an essay by David Stradley ('97), a distinguished actor even at the age of 24 (then).

http://www.ueharlax.ac.uk/alumni/recollect/stradleydj.htm

Read and enjoy. Harlaxton was one of the best periods of my life. FYI, Shane McRae, the subject of a recent entry, was the guy with whom I travelled quite often, including to the Aran Islands off the coast of Ireland--God's country. ....SIGH....

Beauty Shop

2005-09-21T12:35:00.000-07:00

What do you do when someone "KNOWS" you said something, but you know you absolutely did not? And you've said you didn't say it, but the person comes back with, "Yes you did." We're assuming you--and the other person--are both grown, mature adults. You try saying, "What I SAID was..." blah blah blah, and give the truth, what you TRULY said. And that person says back to you, "No you said..." fler-de-fler-de-fler.

What do you do?

Add another dimension: the person accusing you is black, and what she believes you said was racist.

It does not matter if you have people standing behind you saying, "I wasn't there, but I believe you didn't say it," because Miss Accusatory stands by HER statement.

What happens is, the situation quickly devolves into pure and utter ridiculousness. Why? Because it's one's word against another's, and when you don't back down and concede and say the other person's right--or hell, even apologize for the misunderstanding--the behavior of both parties regresses to that of 2-year-olds. But why SHOULD you apologize? Why SHOULD you, say, QUIT? It's YOUR job, and you didn't do anything wrong! Or racist. Or in any way unethical.

This is the problem plaguing CCs today. Thankfully, I'm only on the sidelines, but because I'm fairly sane--at least when compared to most others here--I didn't keep my mouth completely shut, so I pissed Miss Accusatory off. Now I'm sitting here at the desk, and she's about 15-20 feet away, and we've not said a word in 45 minutes. And we're alone here, with no customers. See? Ridiculousness.

Want me to make it even just a little better? Miss Accusatory is probably about 50 years old. And God strike me for saying this, but the entire mess is because, in essence, she is dumb. Pure and simple. Example: she doesn't know how to read on our (super simple!) appointment book when someone's appointment time is. And she's not mentally handicapped or anything, at least not clinically.

Ugh, whatever. I shouldn't write about this anymore.

here comes fall

2005-09-20T08:10:00.000-07:00

Not much to report from the past few days. I've been hired for the ACT Out Ensemble again, this will be my second season. In a way, it's a bad thing. Or I guess not, but really, I should concentrate on finding a real job with real hours and real money. I figured it up, and I think that to live the lifestyle I want to lead, I'd have to make another $10K a year. And that's not even in order for me to be excessive, but just to feel confident that I'd have some backup cash, that I'd have insurance...
Our ACT Out group consists of the four of us from last year: Angela Plank, Roger Ortmann, Chandra DeNap, and myself. The four newbies are Nic Smith, Whitney something, Callie Burke, and Daniel something--the black guy of the group. As Sara said, they're talented. I look forward to working with them.

This Wednesday night is a benefit for the victims of Hurricane Katrina at the Indiana Repertory Theatre, and the cast of URINETOWN is performing "A Privilege to Pee." Other theatres are taking part as well. So I guess this will be my small contribution to what's going on down there. Mom, on the other hand, has become a case worker for the American Red Cross out in Norfolk--a volunteer position that uses her talents very well. I'm SO glad she's doing that; sometimes I'm concerned she hangs out in her home way too often.

New fall season has begun on TV. I enjoyed "How I Met Your Mother" and "Out of Practice." That's good, because I want good things for Alyson Hannigan and Stockard Channing.

D-R-A-M-A...and a eulogoy of sorts

2005-09-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

So last night, pre-show, we all learn that Michael Shelton (who ROCKS as an actor, in my opinion; he plays Old Man Strong and Hot Blades Harry) was carjacked: gun to his back, forced to drive the culprit to, I don't know, someplace, then forced out of the car, and robbed of his vehicle and phone and more, I'm sure. CRA-ZY.
Then we hear at 6:30 (our half our call, show's at 7) that Natasha Drena--who is beautiful and sweet and fabulous--had been in a car accident just a few blocks away. She was ok, and Bryan was going to pick her up so the show would be fine. But when she arrived, we learned that she had witnessed, while waiting on the cops to arrive, a man get stabbed. Yes, that's correct: She witnessed. A man. Get stabbed. Double crazy.

Finally, something that affects me very much. Tears have been shed.
One of my most favorite children that comes in here to Cookie Cutters passed away recently, not even two weeks ago in fact. His name is Max Boncosky. How curious to think back to that first day I met him. His mother--an attractive, athletic blonde around 30--brought his brother Connor and him in for a haircut. It would be Max's first. I made out his little First Haircut Certificate. I remember he smiled, as did his mom and brother. He did so well, he was so happy.
Always. Because he came back a few times, and I think I was here every time. His last visit, I remember Connor was in the chair getting his hair cut, and Mom was attending him in case he had problems--or perhaps she was supervising the stylist. Max was precocious. He was interested in the slide, the balloons, the gum ball machine, the toys, the DVDs, and the big fire truck chair where kids sit to have their hair washed. Max was just aDORable. He would take my hand and lead me around the shop, speaking the speak that only tots speak. In a shop where an employee is easily annoyed with the kids and, sometimes moreso, the parents, Max was a big bright light. Truly. Perhaps one of the most memorable, likable children I'd encountered here. I didn't say it to her, but I appreciated that his mother trusted me to watch him so (at a couple points, I remember, I picked him up and carried him).
Max would have turned 2 years old next month. He and his family's vehicle was hit from behind by a drunk driver who was going around 80 mph. Max died from blunt head trauma.

I'll be 28 in November. To this day, many of my friends and I drive after having drinking. I'd like to think that I--and they--are cogniscent enough to obey traffic laws and drive defensively. But... ...we're not.
Max Boncosky, a little boy who was barely in my life a total of an hour, has had an effect on me that will not go away anytime soon.

Please be safe. For Max's sake, don't drink and drive.

Link to the Indy Star article about Max: http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20050913/COLUMNISTS02/509130397/1006/NEWS01

more DAYS

2005-09-14T12:40:00.000-07:00

OK, here's my prediction...
Dr. Alex North will be revealed as the real, true Roman Brady. (Eventually. We're talking months down the road.) When Roman died(?) the second or third time, then came back in a wheelchair with bandages all over his face (god, i hate when that happens to me), that was when the switch occurred, and Salem got the different Roman.
So who is the man that everyone thinks is Roman Brady? Well, some poor sap, probably. My theory here stems from DAYS' tendency to revisit storylines, but to switch them up in some way. My prediction matches what happened with John Black when he came to Salem.
The tried and true DAYS fan out there will say, "But wait, in your prediction, when Roman came back all bandaged up, it wasn't because he'd undergone plastic surgery, in fact, no one in Salem thought twice about his appearance; we were led to believe it was THE same man." Correct! The bandages were only there so the writers/producers could reveal the new casting choice of Josh Taylor.
Nonetheless, I think that the Real Roman Brady truly DOES have a degree in psychology no one knew about--as Marlena said ironically this week--and that he has come to reclaim what the DiMera's took away from him, that is everything. I think the DiMeras somehow hypnotized the entire town, or brainwashed them, to believe the wrong person is Roman again.

And um, remember, Tek is BAD! He's totally working for the DiMeras! HE was the one who first began drugging John months ago, hooking him onto painkillers. HELLO! God, I love that I didn't miss that episode, that scene, that SINGLE SHOT. Because I know the truth!

help me if you can

2005-09-13T07:55:00.000-07:00

I am officially looking for a job. Practically anything. I'm not physically strong really, I'm an excellent proofreader and speller. I know my way around a computer very well. I am a good public speaker. I look presentable. I'm dedicated and committed and loyal.

And frankly, I'm really pissed and upset and at the end of my rope when it comes to existing in this world.

But also, I'm seriously considering getting a roommate. I have a loft room, and the rest of the house is big enough for 2. I've lived by myself for over 5 years, so I know that it will be a huge adjustment. But it may be the best option at this point... Any ideas? Let me know. I have laundry facilities, a great view of downtown, a great location in Fountain Square, a hot tub--that doesn't work, but with a little dough, I can get it to!, a yard, a garage, and a dog whose presence is pretty much non-negotiable.

the issue of money

2005-09-12T09:52:00.000-07:00

ah Monday. Favorite Stylist Tammy and I have been bitching about money. Gas, work. Why does it cost so much to exist? Sure, I'm not a doctor or lawyer, but I WORK; shouldn't that just be enough to have a few dollars for spending money? Instead, I have like $17 till the end of this week. Every bit of that will go toward lunches. No cigarettes or alcohol or any other fun stuff. I don't remember the last time I bought a CD or DVD for myself.

Sigh...

The answer is that I need a new job. A real job. The acting, sad as it is to admit, is a hindrance. And the only reason I'm still at CCs is because they work with me on my erratic theatre schedule. I could go full-fledged into acting, directing, etc., and hope for the best, but that's a huge risk. To live the life I'd like to lead, including going to movies, going out, EATING out, hell even maintaining my bicycle (it currently has a flat), I HAVE to get a real job.

How marketable am I for a real job though? Honestly. I mean, I know I'm intelligent and can learn virtually anything. But how many people are going to look at my resume and say, ooo we need to snatch him up!
It's sad and irritating.

Important things I literally DO NOT have:
ownership of a car
health insurance
ANY sort of savings for emergencies

but hey, have a great day!

looking back and forward

2005-09-11T09:48:00.000-07:00

Happy Sunday, everyone. It's 4 years after 9/11. I was heading north on 31 from my south side apartment 4 years ago this morning, when the regular programming on the radio was interrupted with the news. I got to work about 15 or 20 minutes before my boss at the time, who was also a very close friend that had lived in New York. Oddly, she hadn't heard anything when she walked in the office, and I was the one to tell her. I remember she was confused and bewildered by what I was saying, and 5 minutes later, she was crying, devastated, frightened for her friends and well, us. We left work and watched the news upstairs from our office in a good friend's apartment. It was there that I called two of my good friends in NYC; I was able to get through before the phones got completely tied up.

I feel like I have to remind myself of that day, where I was, who I talked to and shared that immediate experience with. I have a NYTimes wrapped in plastic from September 12th. A day that will indeed be talked about for generations to come.

WELL. In other news...
Auditions this week for ACT Out. I'm not making any bets; I guess I could, but the director is a tough read, and just because she seems to like me both professionally and personally, I've also seen her fire a guy on the spot--someone she treated much the same she treats me. Of course there were reasons, but still...
Also coming up are auditions for VELVETEEN RABBIT at the Children's Museum, where I recently played Willy Wonka. So I'm gonna try there.
Mystery Cafe will be coming up soon.
I've contacted a buddy from college who's now in New York, a writer named Mat Smart. He's good, and I'd like to direct a new play, so how cool if it could be his? I have one or two others I'd approach, too, about directing one of their scripts.

I should probably turn some of my energy to making money though... Since I'm po'.

Well good day, readers. More this week.

my close friend Shane McRae

2005-09-08T12:28:00.000-07:00

Holy crap.

So I just did a google search for one of my best friends from the University of Evansville Shane McRae. It turns out there's quite a lot out there, especially as he is NBC's next hot young thing. He will star in (yes, star in) an NBC mid-season show called FOUR KINGS, also starring BUFFY'S Oz, Seth Green.

Shane is hot. And tall. And straight. Not sure about the single part. I love him love him love him. He and I travelled all around together overseas, most notably, my favorite place in the world, the Aran Islands off the coast of Ireland. I have great shots of Shane and me sitting there on the edge of the earth.

Anyway, I'm proud of him. The bastard.

the most pleasurable of all guilty pleasures

2005-09-08T11:09:00.000-07:00

So since I'm a wee bored again at CCs, I thought I'd declare the following because, well, this is my blog.

DAYS OF OUR LIVES has been soooo freakin good over the past several months. Some days, it even resembles a prime-time show (!). How so? Never has it been more apparent than in recent months that there's a director directing things. Stories have clipped along much more swiftly, to the point that yes, you actually have to watch more often than once a month to know what's going on. Acting has improved greatly, editing is interesting, creative, ironic and quality. I mean, don't get me wrong: it's a soap opera and is, by nature, not the greatest art out there. But as daily serials go, it's difficult to quantify just how much this show has improved. I can only imagine what some of those actors are thinking: "Thank God, not only am I off the back-burner, but my dialogue isn't entirely crap!"

Biggest kudos go to Julie Pinson (the latest, and perhaps best ever, Billie), Martha Madison (the latest and best Belle), and Billy Warlock (Frankie), because anytime these three are onscreen, they make their costars 2 or 3 times as good.

Long-term predictions: Belle's baby is Shawn's, and it'll all come out once the tyke is running around. The writers have successfully established incredible potential for a very long-term (we're talking years and years) love quadrangle with Philip, Belle, Shawn and Mimi. And of course one day, Sexy Rex will come back.
Austin's coming back sometime this fall--perhaps very soon, I don't know. That will re-open loads of stuff for Sami, Lucas and Kate.
Wayne Northrop's return to the show makes me think they're revving up for another ridiculous Roman Brady plot. I mean, Alex North? Whaaa? Northrop IS Roman, no matter how much Josh Taylor has endeared himself to viewers. Deidre Hall and Northrop are very close, the show has returned to very traditional, history/family-based stories lately, so yeah, I think we're in for another doozy of a story--of the scope that the Possession storyline (mid-90s), the Salem Stalker/Island of the Dead story (the last couple years), and the Double Romans (late 80s) story hit.
Oh yeah, I think Sami may get pregnant soon too. She and Lucas have been doin it like bunnies.

Ok, enough of loser me. Later, loveys.

come on come on get happy

2005-09-08T07:58:00.000-07:00

Let's have a happier post today, shall we?
I get embarrassed about all my ranting because I don't know how much sense I'm making, or how educated I really am.

In other news, happy belated birthday to my sister-in-law, who is right now, I'm sure, stressing over her and her family's move from Grenoble, France, to Birmingham, England. That move will take place by the end of the month, and poor Tamar! with two daughters, ages 6 and 4, and then being 3 to 4 months pregnant too! Of course my great brother is there with her.
I look forward to seeing them at the end of October. My fantabulous parents Kenny and Ruth are flying me over to Rome with them to see my bro and his family. I'm excited. I saw lots of cool stuff when I studied overseas in college, but I never made it to Rome. Now to do so with my family--including my nieces--will truly be a treat.

Tonight begins weekend #2 of URINETOWN, about which I may have sounded very arrogant in my last post. Something about "as expected," a good review... That didn't come out the way I wanted it to. It's just that I could see Lisa Gauthier, the infamous NUVO reviewer, enjoying the performance. And the book/music alone is great, plus with awesome leaders like Dan Scharbrough, Phebe Taylor, Megan McKinney, Michael Shelton, (hell why not mention everyone?!) Doug Johnson, Jeremy Brimm, Emily Ristine, Michael Downey, Holly Stults, Ben Tebbe, Pete Scharbrough (who is so damn adorable), Natasha Drena, and of course my Big Daddy Kurt Owens (Caldwell B. Cladwell)... how can you go wrong? It's such an honor and a pleasure to be onstage with such heavy hitters.

I'm going to eat my very healthy cinammon roll breakfast now. Maybe more later today...

thoughts on the N.O. crisis

2005-09-07T12:44:00.000-07:00

Well, as expected, NUVO too gave URINETOWN a good review--joining WISH-TV and the Indy Star as our supporters. It IS a hilarious and quality show, so come see it!

So I don't know how to put my thoughts into words about this Hurricane Katrina thing. Of course there's that part of me that so easily jumped to blaming Bush for the delayed relief, but I know it goes even deeper than that; that is to say, there are other levels and branches of government that dropped the ball too. Still, I hope that the nation and history books will now see George W. Bush for what he really is: incompetent. Maybe John Kerry wasn't the best alternative either, but he was better.
I don't pretend to be religious or know any sorts of...apocalypse/armageddon theories/signs, etc. (Except for anything BUFFY/ANGEL related.) But it seems to me that maybe we--humankind--are receiving a message from Above and Beyond. And perhaps what I mean to say is AMERICANS are receiving a message. After all, we are the world's SuperPower; hell, we brag about it. Rather than reflecting on how our foreign policies and national priorities and practices may have contributed to a feeling of hatred and disgust toward us, which then manifested on September 11, 2001, somewhere someone started mass-producing a bunch of ridiculous ribbon-stickers for cars...and bumper stickers proclaiming how much we're gonna kick some ass now.

Bush and his posse (Evil Cheney, Eviler Rove, Rumsfeld, the yes-girl Condi) enjoy snowing the country, playing on this society's tendency to swallow whatever is given them--so long as it's in a comfortable, pretty-colored capsule. What's really happening is they are raising the Almighty Dollar (with help from the Almighty Bible) as the be-all-end-all of civilization. And that's not ok. Don't get me wrong: they KNOW it's not ok, but they're reaping the benefits of this gullible nation.

(See, I'm not making much sense here am I?)

Think about it... the American obsession with celebrity. With money. With bigger and better. With superiority. WE ARE NOT A GOOD NATION ANYMORE. I'm sorry, but we're not. If I had the resources--and, admittedly, the balls--I'd not be here anymore. On November 3rd last year, this country basically decided that I am a second-class citizen--that I don't deserve to marry someone I love. That it isn't "right." That, my friends, is a blatant, prime example of government calling a spade a heart. Though our founding fathers were vastly Christian, the USA was NOT founded in Christian tenets, but upon the tenet that church and state should remain separate. That's why we left England.

I'm sad and upset by this Katrina situation because, even though it should be, I'm afraid it won't be enough to wake up the country, to see our hubris and to change it. Though the answers are out there and in the hands of those who have power to change our national situation, I'm afraid that won't happen. Why? Money. Exploitation. That's why we're paying over $3/gallon of gas. Read National Geographic and you'll see that there are loads of people out there--government officials, included--who have had power for years to begin turning around our energy crisis. (Yes, "begin" because it can't happen overnight.)

OK, now I've ranted, and I need to go b/c I'm at work. But there are some thoughts of mine. Maybe they'll cohese for you. If not, leave some comments. I'll get back to you.

i have returned to my people out there in the dark

2005-09-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

hello all
yes, i'm awful, AWFUL i tell you, at blogging. since this is only my second one. but i was encouraged by my wonderful friend angela (dramaqueenmother) to get my butt in gear, so here i am.

what all has happened...let's see....

well, here at CCs (the day job), the devious woman who got pregnant behind her husband's back ("gosh, honey, i guess the birth control pills didn't work...") ended up losing the baby. it's tragic. it makes me ponder the universe a bit, too. unquestionably tragic, though.

i am in a "hit show" (as my other friend angela calls it) called URINETOWN: THE MUSICAL at the phoenix theatre. i am SOOO happy and honored to be a part of the great cast and crew. the indianapolis star gave us the headline, "you gotta go see this show," and a bottom line, "brilliant." Yay!! it IS a hilarious show that showcases lots of great talent and hard work. the dancers and choreography are FANTASTIC. i've met some really cool people, and hey, the show has turned out to be quite timely (what with the DEVASTATING katrina situation), and it speaks to that political part of me well.

speaking of politics...WTF. i think it is so very sad that bush and his administration responded the way they did (or didn't) to katrina in the days immediately following. surprising, no. sad, yes. i think THIS may be the event that will cause him to lose lots of his support and history books to be VERY hard on him.
it's sad because the response to the hurricane was so piss poor. but it's also sad--and it INCENSES me--because HALF THE COUNTRY was SCREAMING at the other half this time last year, HE IS NOT A GOOD MAN FOR THIS JOB. AT ALL. NO! NO NO NO!!! maybe john kerry wasn't the best choice either, but at least he knows how to say, spell and perform diplomacy.
so yes, the political fire in me has grown again. i want SO badly to berate every person that voted for bush--and that includes some of my good friends with whom i work. "We told you! You let this happen because you allowed that man and his posse to have power! NOW look at us! Gas, New Orleans, the war... BUSH! BUSH! BUSH!"

back to theatre...i am very happy that the first fringe fest here in indy went well.
oh, and my fabulous friend rutina wesley was replaced for the broadway production of THE COLOR PURPLE after having helped develop it. she's upset, but remember her name; she'll make it big one day.

i'm gonna post this immediately, and i'll try to be better about posting in the future. this week, even!

Inaugural Blog

2005-06-09T10:18:00.000-07:00

Hey all, so this is where you'll be able to come and read all about what's happening in the wonderful, dramatic life of me.
Read about the ladies at CC's, my secondary job, and how one of them hasn't told her husband she went off the pill so as to get pregnant--something he doesn't want.
Read about my theatre projects, like the current one that overwhelms me because I actually have to be cheery and candy-coated for two months.
Read about Phoebe, my rot/St. Bernard mix who never ceases to make me laugh.
And read about my love life--those will be pretty short entries, I'm sure.

Since this blog is all about me, maybe I can stop being so self-absorbed in the rest of my life. One never knows...

News from the past couple days I find exciting:
Good job, R Crowe, for apologizing. It seemed sincere to me. And yay, Letterman, for allowing that on his show.
Last week, it was admitted that the Koran was desecrated at Gitmo, and this week, Bush's approval ratings are at an all-time low. Could America actually be shoving that darn wool off their eyes and smelling the coffee? I won't get my hopes up.
Bill Clinton was just down the street from me yesterday, signing books.
Yeardly Smith announced it's official--THE SIMPSONS are going to the big screen, probably in 2007.
I actually had a guy express interest in buying my beat-up pick-up. I felt like I was being asked out!

OK, more later. Haircuts await.